You Will See It When You Believe It

 

A belief, as defined by the dictionary, is the psychological state in which an individual holds a premise to be true. 98-367

To have beliefs, or a belief system, is very human. Our beliefs, in part, help us conceptualize the world, and make sense of our experiences. Beliefs may be based on evidence, personal values, and convictions. They may stem from socialization, or they may be deeply personal. A belief may be quite accurate as defined by reality, or it may be entirely untrue when measured by the same standard. Beliefs stem from personal convictions, thought processes, and feelings, and they vary greatly from person to person. Beliefs are not right or wrong, valid or invalid. They are beliefs. And they are deeply personal, and very valid and true to the person that deems them to be so.

Take a moment, if you could, and reflect on your beliefs. Do you tend to form your beliefs based on factual information, or are your beliefs more difficult to prove as “true”? Do your beliefs stem for your background, upbringing, peers and society, or do you hold them contrary to popular belief? Do your beliefs incorporate religion? Spirituality? Moral values?  Human nature?  Are they based on your perceptions, judgments, schemas, or experiences? How are your beliefs representative of your thoughts and feelings?

Think now, for just a moment, about how your beliefs serve you. How much do you rely on your beliefs to guide you through this world? How flexible or rigid is your belief system? Do you compare them to those of others, or label beliefs as right or wrong, better or worse? How well do you know and understand your beliefs? How much consideration do you give to the beliefs of others?

And finally, I would like you to consider what you believe to be true about yourself.

As you do this, perhaps you will become aware that your beliefs about yourself are secure, reassuring, positive and empowering. That you are able to accomplish anything you choose to do. That even while you have both strengths and limitations, you are a uniquely beautiful and  gifted individual. You have worth. You are valuable. I hope that as you reflect on your beliefs about yourself, you feel self-love, self-awareness, and self-efficacy.

But what if you do not? What if, when you reflect on your beliefs about who you are, you realize that your beliefs are quite limiting? What if you believe that you are a lost cause? That you are not good enough. What if you believe that you cannot make a difference in this world, that you are dispensable? What if you believe that you are faulted, or at fault, when things go wrong? What if you believe that love is conditional, that you must fit a mold in order to be loved, accepted, cherished?

What happens then, if you realize that you are harmed by your very belief systems?

If you come to the realization today that you are the victim of limiting beliefs, I will tell you that you are in luck. You are luck, because you have the power to change those beliefs. You are in luck because the first step to changing your core beliefs is to identify them. You are in luck because you have made a self-discovery, you now have greater self-awareness, and you are now closer to making positive changes in your life. If you have identified a belief that is not working for you, you are able to change it. You are able to combat the negative self-talk, and replace it with positive dialogue. And as you practice doing this, you will be able to shift your perspective, changing how you look at the world, and slowly but surely, changing your beliefs about yourself. And once you are able to do this, you will instantly change your reality.

Today, my cherished birds, take a moment to examine your beliefs yourself and the world in which you live. I hope you notice that these beliefs are positive and empowering. But if any part of them is not, remind yourself that they do not have to stay this way. Remind yourself today that while your beliefs do define your reality, you may change them. You may do anything you so choose to do, whether you believe it or not. You may change your reality by changing your beliefs.

Spread your wings just a bit wider today, my birds, and challenge your beliefs. Sing songs of praise to yourself and cherish your beautiful individuality. Revel in who you are, and believe that you do indeed hold the key to the life of your dreams. Believe that you may fly, spread your wings, and soar.  But only if you believe that you can.

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Regretfully Speaking…

 

I have often read that we, as live-ers of life, should have no regrets. That we should, in some sense of the word, forget about the finer details of our past and instead be grateful for the opportunities and the gifts that have been bestowed upon us through the process of living. That we should embrace all that we are, for better or for worse, because of what we have been through and the choices we have made.

And to a certain degree, I agree with this. I agree that it behooves us to spend too much time in our past, whether we are fretting over things that we have done, or worrying about that which we have left undone. It does us no good to berate ourselves for our mistakes or relive days gone by, wishing that we had done things differently. After all, what does this accomplish? Precious little, indeed.

Even so, I have to admit that I do have regrets. I have done things that I am not proud of and over-looked things that I should have been more mindful about. I have been reckless at times, selfish, and even hurtful. As I look back on the twenty-nine years of my life, I see with unmistakable clarity that I have consciously and unconsciously made poor choices. Choices that have been foolish, short-sighted, and negatively impactful. And, these things are uncomfortable to think about. They are difficult to speak of. And they are nothing short of humbling.

Yet, even as I think about the regrets that I do have, and I reflect on where I was at in my life when I made those choices, I cannot help but to ask, “Is it really so bad to admit that we have regrets? Is it so bad to look back on the decisions that we have made and wish that we had done things differently? Is it so bad to look behind ourselves every now and then and realize that we could have done better? ” I must say that I think not.

I say that I do not think it is so bad to have regrets because regrets really are a part of life. Regrets, in essence, are nothing short of lessons that we have learned as we journey through life. To feel regretful is not to say that we are bad. On the contrary, to feel regretful is to say that we now see things differently than we had before or to acknowledge that we are no longer where we once were. It is to recognize that something was to be learned, and that we have changed or evolved because of our experiences. It is to agree that hindsight is indeed twenty-twenty.

So, when you find yourself tempted to deny ever having regrets, rethink what that word really means to you. Remember that it is a rare soul that truly has no regrets, and that there is no shame in using the feeling of regret to propel us forward as we learn from our misgivings.

Ask Yourself This:

We have all heard the saying, “All that we are is a result of what we have thought”, and in my experience, this statement seems to be true. And, on a similar vein, so does the quote, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”

Whether this is true for everyone or not, I do like the idea that we have control over our thoughts, and therefore our lives. That at any given moment, we can change how we relate to our circumstances, the world around us, and perhaps most importantly, ourselves, by changing the way that we think.

The following list was taken from an article I recently read that challenged readers to change the way they reflect upon their experiences. Parajumpers Long Bear Jakke The article asserts that the questions we ask ourselves each day greatly influences the type of people we are. So, rather than asking such questions as, How can I earn more money? What’s wrong with me? or Am I good enough?, the article suggests the following inquiries:

What did I learn? Each and every day, we are presented with numerous opportunities to learn. Embrace them for what they are and be grateful for the resulting growth.

Who did I love? Love brings out the best in who we are as well as in those we love. As such, it is the greatest gift as well as the greatest reward that we will ever give or receive.

How was I vulnerable? While being vulnerable is certainly uncomfortable, it is truly transformative. It is about being authentic, allowing yourself to be deeply seen, and taking risks that have invaluable rewards.

What am I grateful for? The attitude of gratitude reminds us that we have enough, and, just as importantly, that we are enough.

Who did I listen to? As you well know, we all just need an ear sometimes. No fixing. No advice. No anything besides opening up to share our stories, whatever they may be. Give this gift to someone else and lend an ear.

How was I challenged? Be careful not to equate challenge with struggle, and bear in mind that challenging experiences are often ripe with valuable life lessons.

What made me laugh? Embrace humor. Be tickled. And, lighten up, for laughter is important.

Who did I connect with? Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel understood and valued. Connection is important, as it provides us with a sense of a belonging, and it serves as a reminder that we are never alone.

How did I grow? Each and every day provides us with opportunities for growth. Appreciate these moments for what they are, and be content with your progress, no matter how big or how small.

What did I share? Never underestimate your ability to make a difference. Know that you have gifts to offer the world, and do not be afraid to let your light shine.

Earth to Self

With the New Year approaching, many of us will find ourselves reflecting on the year gone by, and planning for the year ahead, and quite possibly, setting New Years Resolutions.  Which suggests that we have  life-work to do, and this work is undoubtedly some of the most difficult internal work we do as humans.

So, how do we get this work done?

First and foremost, it is important that we reignite the relationship that we have with our very own self.  This means re- tuning into the messages we receive from our bodies, our intuition, and the loved ones and endeavors that lift us higher.  As you do this, consider what it is that you transmit and receive in life.  What about this works for you, and what does not? In what ways do you dis/connect from yourself and others?

The following points are ways that many of us dampen and sever the connection we have with those most important to us, including our own selves.

Being everywhere but here:  In yoga, we often discuss the idea of “being present.”  But what does that even mean?  It means that we are able to channel our presence in order to be available to the moment that we are in.

Ignoring the body:  Many of us learn to disassociate from our physical bodies and instead learn pay more attention to physical habits that mandate our bodily attention , such as food ,body image, addiction, self-care, etcetera.  Regardless of your bodily experience, know that embodiment is the connection. Therefore, live within your body:  listen to its messages, relearn how and when to feed it, give it plenty of movement, and just as importantly, rest, and find faith in its processes.

Ignoring your thoughts:  Walk through a day-in-your-mind, and notice the commentary.

Attempting  to prove our worth:  You are enough, and you are worthy.  Worth is not proved.  It is inherent.

Mixing up priorities:   This is easier said than done.  Nonetheless, ask yourself:  What are your priorities in life?  How do you show prioritization to those that you cherish?  How do you prioritize your own needs?

Trusting outside information over your own intuition:   Ignore technology.  Ignore the media.  Ignore what doesn’t resonate.  Instead, let go and connect with the rhythms of your body and mind.

Compromising yourself and loved ones:   Stop people-pleasing.  Advocate and be assertive on behalf of yourself and your loved ones.

Find balance:  For most, balance does not exist in the sense that we pursue it.  Balance is not a fixed state, rather it is a fluid state of adjustment, adaptation, giving and receiving.

Limiting joy:  Make time for the things that feel good and light your soul on fire.  Laugh.  Play.  Embrace all that brings you joy.

Coulda, Shoulda. Whatever. Just Do It.

 

At the dawn of the New Year, a young student was told by his master, “Now that you are becoming more aware of yourself, I would like you to set reassess this years’ goals, so as not to lose the momentum that you have recently gained.”

“Much like a New Year’s Resolution,” the student said.

The master replied, “Exactly”, and then he gave the following assignment: “Make two lists. The first will include the New Year’s Resolutions of this year that you would like to keep. The second will include the Resolutions that you actually will keep. Begin with the first list, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, begin your second list.”

The student went home and began his assignment immediately.

As he created his list of wants, he jotted down all the things that he had always wanted to do, from the things that he had been meaning to get around to his wildest dreams. After nearly an hour, his list of wants filled an entire page and contained all of his ideas about an ideal life. He then began the second list of the Resolutions that he will keep, which he found to be much easier and far more realistic and practical.

He brought both lists to his master the following morning. Upon greeting the student, the master said, “Tell me about your two lists.”

“The first list,” explained the student, “Contains all the things that I should do if I were to change my life in such a way to become the person that I have always wanted to be. The second list contains everything that I could do by accepting my life as it is and taking a more practical approach to the living the life of my dreams.”

“Interesting,” said the master, “Please let me see the second list.”

Without even looking at the list, the master ripped the piece of paper into tiny shreds and threw it away. The student felt hurt by this at first, however, it soon dawned on him that this second list did not matter whatsoever. It was the first list, the list containing his dream life, that mattered most.

“And now, the first list,” Said the master, holding out his hands.

And upon being handed the first list, he crumpled it up and tossed it into the trash without another thought.

Angry and hurt, the student cried, “Why did you do that!?”

“What you could do with your life does not matter. Nor does what you should do with your life,” explained the master. “The only thing that matters from this moment forward is what you actually do do.”