Dream Weaving

Ever since I was a baby girl, I dreamed of moving out west.

I came close to realizing this dream when I was 18, but after finding out that I was pregnant with Ian, I put this dream on hold and instead dove heart-first into motherhood.

Then, after more than fourteen years of falling in love with my children, getting to know my truest spirit, making the very best of a series of fortunate and not-so-fortunate events, defeating the odds that were so seemingly being stacked against me, and surrendering to the crazy frustration of Divine and crazy Universal timing, this lifelong dream of mine is finally coming true.

And, to be completely transparent, it feels most surreal.

Yet, even so, I am overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude. …Those that know me most intimately know that I have always been a wild dreamer. They know that I am a woman of passion, a lover a life, an agent of change, and an almost undefinable creature that finds it impossible to stay in one place for very long.

So, to my loves that have known me and believed in me and my dreams over the past years, I express my truest love and gratitude to you. Thank you for trusting in me and allowing me time and space to grow. Thank you for your fierce and unconditional love.

Thank you for your perspective and encouragement. And, most of all, thank you for helping me uncover my magic, reignite my passions, and helping me set myself free into the mystic.

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Keep the Change

So many of us value change and progression, yet we struggle to achieve the goals that we set for ourselves. Why is that? Why is it so hard to make personal changes, particularly when they are important, meaningful, and beneficial? What is so hard about doing what is best for us and achieving what we really want?

In truth, I think that the answers to questions such as these are quite complex, yet simplistic at the very same time. Change is hard. It takes commitment, perseverance, and even courage. Taking matters of life into our own hands involves responsibility, accountability, and the overcoming of obstacles that we would rather not face. Additionally, as we make lasting changes in our lives, we may be put in a position that requires the help of others. We may encounter uncertainty. And we may have to rely on new processes such as insight, self-awareness, and discovery rather than older processes that we were once so comfortable with.

Simply said, change can be hard. Change can be scary. Change can be confusing. And sometimes, change is none of these things and it is unexpected or unintentional. It might even be exciting, or simply the result of something natural or evolutionary. Regardless of what change feels like, though, it is quite often necessary. It is necessary in life because change leads to progression. To growth. To the betterment of one’s self and one’s life.

As most of us well know, the journey online casino of life does not happen in our comfort zone. There are times in our lives that we must venture out to unknown territory and test our limits. There are times in our lives that we must be a bit uncomfortable. That we must do something a bit differently and make a change that is important, meaningful, and for the better in the long run. This is important, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable, for it is during these times that we learn what we are made of, discovering who we really are, what we really want in life, and what incredible feats we are really capable of.

Venture out of your comfort zone and into new territory. Challenge yourself, and attempt to do something differently. And remember that most of the beautiful rewards in life would never had been achieved had a change not been made.

Hurt People Hurt People

If you have ever been a part of a relationship, I am willing to bet that you have also found yourself amidst an internal struggle that is, at least in part, due to something that has happened within that relationship. Something that was confusing, hurtful, or upsetting. Something that was difficult to let go of, move on from, or understand. As such, I am willing to bet that whatever it was that had caused you discomfort has also had a lasting impact on you in some meaningful way. Perhaps it has influenced how you approach people. Perhaps it taught you a valuable lesson. Perhaps it shaped you in some other meaningful way, for better or for worse. Rarely do we make it through such things without an impact being made.

Because of this, it comes as no surprise that such lesson can be quite difficult to learn. That we may be rendered incapable of embracing a lesson until we are capable of approaching the situation from an entirely different perspective. A perspective that does not focus on the hurt and is instead driven by a compassionate empathy for all that are involved. A perspective that allows us to let go of what may otherwise hard to set free.

When you take a moment to think about the implications of approaching painful circumstance in such a loving way, it is no wonder that many of us undergo a transformation of sorts as we move forward. It is no wonder that we also begin to soften, forgive, and let go of that which has hurt us in the past. I say that this is no wonder, because I believe that when we are able to approach another human being from a point of compassion, we begin to see life through their eyes, instead of through our own, and in doing so, we often gain a better understanding of their true intentions and greater insight into their deeper experiences. Rather than being convinced that we have been hurt by their selfishness or deceit, we may see instead that they were driven by another force entirely. Or, rather than looking down upon them with disappointment, judgment, or condemnation, we may soften our gaze and realize that they are coming from a place that we otherwise may not understand.

And of course, as I say this, please understand that I do not mean to minimize any pain that has been experienced, nor excuse any wounds that have been inflicted. I only mean to say that it does seem to feel better, and therefore take us farther, when we are able to invest in love and compassion and allow our pain to be transformed, rather than submerge ourselves in negative and destructive emotions.

So today, if you find yourself revisiting a painful relationship, I challenge you to consider the alternative perspective. Attempt to understand what may otherwise be unfathomable. Reject the victim mentality and let go of blame. Instead, hold fast to your optimism in humankind and have faith in what you believe to be good.

Serenity Prayer

Most of us are familair with the following prayer:

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

…Through experience, I have learned that it is not always easy to accept the things in our lives that are not within our control. It can be rather difficult to come to terms with the fact that many things in life are uncontrollable, and perhaps even inevitable. Try as we might, we simply do not have the power to change all things we encounter, be it another individual or a relationship, an event or circumstance, or something different entirely. And this fact seems especially difficult to come to terms with when we are struggling to accept something that we do not like or something that may be particularly uncomfortable or difficult to endure. Especially when these things are what we are most desperately trying to change.

So when we struggle to simply accept these things, how are we supposed to take one step further and do so with serenity? How can we be expected to embrace such things “as is”, maintaining unconditional acceptance, a calm mind, and a peaceful heart? To approach life with a “Que Sera, Sera” attitude can be tricky, indeed.

Perhaps, it is better to remind ourselves not to dwell on such things, and remember that it is better to invest our energies into other things. The things that serve our higher purpose. The things that we can, in fact, influence and change.

Just as the prayer says, it takes wisdom to know the difference between what we can and cannot change. It takes wisdom to recognize what we have the power to influence, and what we must simply accept. And not only does it take wisdom to know the difference between these two things, it also takes courage to change that which is in our power. To adopt a different perspective, transform how we think, feel, and act. It can take courage to change the way that we relate, respond, and interact with the life that we are surrounded by. It takes courage to look at ourselves from a new angle and reflect on what we might do differently. And it especially takes courage to set those changes into motion.

So today, if you find yourself struggling with something in your life, consider this prayer. Ask yourself, what about this is within my control? What must I do to accept this with an open heart and an open mind? Or, how might I begin to let go of this entirely? How may I go about making a change, and, am I willing and able to take those steps? When you ask yourself such questions, you will likely find that as long as you are in control of your thoughts, and subsequently your feelings and your actions, you usually have more control over the “uncontrollable” than you had first realized.

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles

When I was very young, my family spent a few days vacationing at Itasca State Park. I was only four or five years old at the time, and I remember very little about the trip. In fact, the only thing I remember about that summer vacation at all is visiting the source of the Mississippi River. I know that my mother and my sister were with me, I assume that my father was too, and if my memory serves me correctly, I was also accompanied by my aunt and my three cousins. I don’t remember how we had spent that morning or the afternoon, nor do I remember arriving to the park. Rather, my memory begins and ends with me being in what seemed to be the middle of the Mississippi River, carefully stepping from one slippery stone to another, as I tried to make my way across the water and to the shore. My sister may have played alongside me, my mother may have encouraged me as I went, and I likely lost my footing from time to time. However, if these things did occur, I do not remember them. I remember one thing and one thing only: carefully, yet clumsily, making my way across that mighty river.

Of course, this memory is hardly remarkable. But I do think that it represents an unmistakable metaphor for the journey that is life. For, it is so often that we find ourselves in the middle of somewhere (or, nowhere for that matter) not knowing how we got there, or where exactly we intend to go. We may not know what step it is that we are going to take next, and we may feel completely uncertain how, much less where, our feet will land as we put one foot in front of the other and carry on. Yet, we continue to move forward, despite our uncertainty. And we have faith that our journey will lead us to where we need to be. For now.

Much like in my memory of walking across the source of the Mississippi River, sometimes it is not our destination that matters most. And paradoxically, sometimes it is not the particulars of the journey that is most important either. Rather, sometimes, it is the faith that we have in ourselves and the forward movement that we are making in the face of uncertainty that is most valuable to us at that time.

So, if you find yourself stumbling from stone to stone, and you feel unsure about where it is that you are heading, do not lose heart. Remember that progress is not only measured by the direction we are heading, nor does happiness always depend upon the shore that we reach. In fact, it is not even the stones that we step on that most determine our outcome. Rather, what is most important during these times is the courage to act despite apprehension, the ability to persevere despite difficulty, and the faith that who we are and what we are made of is greater than any obstacle we may encounter.

You Will See It When You Believe It

 

A belief, as defined by the dictionary, is the psychological state in which an individual holds a premise to be true. 98-367

To have beliefs, or a belief system, is very human. Our beliefs, in part, help us conceptualize the world, and make sense of our experiences. Beliefs may be based on evidence, personal values, and convictions. They may stem from socialization, or they may be deeply personal. A belief may be quite accurate as defined by reality, or it may be entirely untrue when measured by the same standard. Beliefs stem from personal convictions, thought processes, and feelings, and they vary greatly from person to person. Beliefs are not right or wrong, valid or invalid. They are beliefs. And they are deeply personal, and very valid and true to the person that deems them to be so.

Take a moment, if you could, and reflect on your beliefs. Do you tend to form your beliefs based on factual information, or are your beliefs more difficult to prove as “true”? Do your beliefs stem for your background, upbringing, peers and society, or do you hold them contrary to popular belief? Do your beliefs incorporate religion? Spirituality? Moral values?  Human nature?  Are they based on your perceptions, judgments, schemas, or experiences? How are your beliefs representative of your thoughts and feelings?

Think now, for just a moment, about how your beliefs serve you. How much do you rely on your beliefs to guide you through this world? How flexible or rigid is your belief system? Do you compare them to those of others, or label beliefs as right or wrong, better or worse? How well do you know and understand your beliefs? How much consideration do you give to the beliefs of others?

And finally, I would like you to consider what you believe to be true about yourself.

As you do this, perhaps you will become aware that your beliefs about yourself are secure, reassuring, positive and empowering. That you are able to accomplish anything you choose to do. That even while you have both strengths and limitations, you are a uniquely beautiful and  gifted individual. You have worth. You are valuable. I hope that as you reflect on your beliefs about yourself, you feel self-love, self-awareness, and self-efficacy.

But what if you do not? What if, when you reflect on your beliefs about who you are, you realize that your beliefs are quite limiting? What if you believe that you are a lost cause? That you are not good enough. What if you believe that you cannot make a difference in this world, that you are dispensable? What if you believe that you are faulted, or at fault, when things go wrong? What if you believe that love is conditional, that you must fit a mold in order to be loved, accepted, cherished?

What happens then, if you realize that you are harmed by your very belief systems?

If you come to the realization today that you are the victim of limiting beliefs, I will tell you that you are in luck. You are luck, because you have the power to change those beliefs. You are in luck because the first step to changing your core beliefs is to identify them. You are in luck because you have made a self-discovery, you now have greater self-awareness, and you are now closer to making positive changes in your life. If you have identified a belief that is not working for you, you are able to change it. You are able to combat the negative self-talk, and replace it with positive dialogue. And as you practice doing this, you will be able to shift your perspective, changing how you look at the world, and slowly but surely, changing your beliefs about yourself. And once you are able to do this, you will instantly change your reality.

Today, my cherished birds, take a moment to examine your beliefs yourself and the world in which you live. I hope you notice that these beliefs are positive and empowering. But if any part of them is not, remind yourself that they do not have to stay this way. Remind yourself today that while your beliefs do define your reality, you may change them. You may do anything you so choose to do, whether you believe it or not. You may change your reality by changing your beliefs.

Spread your wings just a bit wider today, my birds, and challenge your beliefs. Sing songs of praise to yourself and cherish your beautiful individuality. Revel in who you are, and believe that you do indeed hold the key to the life of your dreams. Believe that you may fly, spread your wings, and soar.  But only if you believe that you can.

The Silver Lining

2015 was a tough year for many.   We each in our own way have struggled with adversity.  We have experienced pain, suffering, and hardship in one way or another.

We have been put to the test, we have questioned our beliefs, and have challenged our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.  We have questioned our identities, struggled to remain well, and persevered in any way that we could.  Our hearts have ached, and our heads have searched for answers that may not exist.  We have adapted to change, overcome adversity, and done everything in our power to remain positive.  In many ways, we have felt that life has fallen apart all around us.  And in many ways, it may seem that it has.

But you know what? Whether or not we have been through tough times such as those described above, our lives have not fallen apart completely.  We still have so much for which to be grateful, so much to hold on to, to love, and to live for.  We have our friends, our families, our passions.  We have a purpose, our health, our spirituality.  We have sources of strength.  Sources of joy.  Sources of hope.  We have our lives to live.  And it is my opinion that we have the responsibility, as well as the opportunity and the pleasure, to live our lives as fully as we are able.

As tempted as we may be to reflect back on the struggles that we have been through, I believe that it is even more important to consider how things will fall back together, even after they have fallen apart.  There may have been times when we ourselves have crumbled, and yet even when that happens, it seems that things always have a way of coming together again.  Sometimes we may watch the pieces fall together right before our eyes.  Sometimes it may take us time to realize what has happened.  And other times, we must take control and put the pieces back together again.  But no matter how it happens, it seems that most things in life usually do fit back together again somehow.   They may not look or feel the same as they did “before”, and that might be painful or it may be a pleasant surprise.  Yet whatever this new picture looks like, it is up to us to find new meaning in it.

It is up to us to influence or change what we can, have the serenity to accept what we cannot, and to make the most of the gifts that have been bestowed upon us regardless of the situation at hand.  It is up to us to keep searching for the light, even in the face of total darkness, and have faith that “this too shall pass” and brighter day will come if it hasn’t already.

Regretfully Speaking…

 

I have often read that we, as live-ers of life, should have no regrets. That we should, in some sense of the word, forget about the finer details of our past and instead be grateful for the opportunities and the gifts that have been bestowed upon us through the process of living. That we should embrace all that we are, for better or for worse, because of what we have been through and the choices we have made.

And to a certain degree, I agree with this. I agree that it behooves us to spend too much time in our past, whether we are fretting over things that we have done, or worrying about that which we have left undone. It does us no good to berate ourselves for our mistakes or relive days gone by, wishing that we had done things differently. After all, what does this accomplish? Precious little, indeed.

Even so, I have to admit that I do have regrets. I have done things that I am not proud of and over-looked things that I should have been more mindful about. I have been reckless at times, selfish, and even hurtful. As I look back on the twenty-nine years of my life, I see with unmistakable clarity that I have consciously and unconsciously made poor choices. Choices that have been foolish, short-sighted, and negatively impactful. And, these things are uncomfortable to think about. They are difficult to speak of. And they are nothing short of humbling.

Yet, even as I think about the regrets that I do have, and I reflect on where I was at in my life when I made those choices, I cannot help but to ask, “Is it really so bad to admit that we have regrets? Is it so bad to look back on the decisions that we have made and wish that we had done things differently? Is it so bad to look behind ourselves every now and then and realize that we could have done better? ” I must say that I think not.

I say that I do not think it is so bad to have regrets because regrets really are a part of life. Regrets, in essence, are nothing short of lessons that we have learned as we journey through life. To feel regretful is not to say that we are bad. On the contrary, to feel regretful is to say that we now see things differently than we had before or to acknowledge that we are no longer where we once were. It is to recognize that something was to be learned, and that we have changed or evolved because of our experiences. It is to agree that hindsight is indeed twenty-twenty.

So, when you find yourself tempted to deny ever having regrets, rethink what that word really means to you. Remember that it is a rare soul that truly has no regrets, and that there is no shame in using the feeling of regret to propel us forward as we learn from our misgivings.

Things Aren’t Adding Up? Start Subtracting

Quite often, we tend to think that peace may be obtained by adding certain things into our lives. However, it has been my experience, that the act of letting go is equally important. The following list originated from the article entitled, “Eight Things You Must Give Up To Find Peace”, and it describes eight essential things that must be given up in order to manifest peace in one’s life.

  1. Past regrets and excuses.

As most of us well know, we cannot always choose what happens to us. But, we do have the power to choose how we relate to our circumstances and what we choose to do about them. Quite similarly, we also have the choice to forgive ourselves for our misgivings and refuse to define ourselves by the things we have done, or left unfinished.

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  1. The desire to have all the answers.

Learning to accept the unknown in life is a profound lesson, indeed, as uncertainty can be rather frightening. On the other hand, however, uncertainty can also be quite liberating because it means the possibilities are endless.

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  1. The false hope of a pain-free life.

As I am sure you have heard many times, pain is an inevitable part of life, and it comes in many shapes and sizes. Pain accompanies the good in life, just as often as it does the bad. Pain is for the living only, and as long as we are living, we are bound to encounter it now and then. And despite what many of us tend to think, this is a good thing, as pain signifies that our receptors to the world are working. And it signifies that we are indeed alive and interacting with the beautiful world around us.

  1. Ties to insensitive people.

People are extremely difficult to change, and based on my experiences, they rarely do as a result of the efforts of someone else. So, rather than attempting to change people and creating space for hard feelings, opt to invest your energies into other, more worthwhile things.

  1. Obsessing over negative news.

Do your best and try not to obsess over negativity. Like pain, there will be hardship in the world. So rather than allowing it to weigh you down, use it to propel yourself and the rest of the world forward, in a more positive direction.

  1. The belief that fulfillment resides in the end result.

Like peace, fulfillment is not obtained by achieving a specific goal. Rather, fulfillment is obtained by having a sense of purpose and living with authenticity and intention.

  1. Measuring your success by material wealth.

Stuff is, well, stuff. It is of the essence. It can add to various parts of our lives, and it can send a message to those around us. But, like anything of the material world, material wealth does have its limits.

  1. The need to keep everything the same.

Change is an inevitable part of life, as everything is indeed temporary.  And while change can certainly be uncomfortable, it can also be quite beautiful, for it is change that is at the heart of all growth and progression.