No Need to Explain

Several weeks ago, I posted an article that I had happened across addressing our “need” to explain or apologize for who we are and what we do, despite the fact that these explanations and apologies are not at all necessary.

And even while this is an unnecessary expenditure of energy, it seems that most of us have fallen into this trap a time or two throughout our lives in an attempt to help people understand where we are coming from.

Yet, in reality, we owe these explanations and apologies to no one. Especially when we feel self-assured in our life choices. So, the next time you feel compelled to “explain” or “apologize” for yourself in such a way, remember that you do not owe this to anyone for anything.

And, in particular, you do not owe anyone an explanation or an apology for…

….YOUR LIVING SITUATION.

Whether you are cohabiting, crashing on a friends’ couch, renting a transition home, or paying entirely too much for the roof over your head, you do owe anyone an explanation for where you lie your head down at night or why. If you are fully aware of your living situation and why you are making that choice, know that it is yours to make.

… YOUR LIFE PRIORITIES.

Because we are all unique individuals, we all have differing beliefs, priorities, and values. And more often than not, some of these things will not agree with the people that matter most to you. Yet even so, you have come to hold these things close to your heart for a reason. And for those reasons alone, you need not explain yourself.

…NOT BEING SORRY.

Simply stated, we do not have to apologize for the things that we do not feel sorry for.

… REQUIRING ALONE TIME.

Each one of us has a different need for solitude and a different need for socialization. Neither is right nor wrong, and both are natural and necessary.

…YOUR THOUGHTS ON OTHERS’ PERSONAL POLITICAL, AND SPIRITUAL VAUES AND BELIEFS.

We need not agree with everything everyone believes. Likewise, we need not share these opinions if and when we do not feel compelled to do so. Do not compromise or water down your own personal convictions for the sake of conformity and pacifism. Rather, learn to disagree or remain silent with acceptance and grace.

…NOT AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING THEY SAY.

Learn to find a way to politely disagree, decline, or opt out of something when you feel the need to, and you will find peace. Remember that asserting and advocating on your own behalf is no more and no less than an act of self-care.

…YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

You physical appearance is a combination of nature and nurture, genetics and lifestyle, and it should not be made a determination of your self-worth.

…YOUR FOOD PREFERENCES.

Unless you are requiring others to eat just as you do, you do not need to explain or apologize for your diet and food choices any more than you need to explain or apologize for any other preference you have or the other functions of your body. Let it simply be a matter of feeling good.

…YOUR SEX LIFE.

If you are your partner are both consenting adults, let the discussion of your sex life end here.

… YOUR CAREER OR PERSONAL LIFE CHOICES.

I have found that many of our personal and professional choices are a reflection of “where we are right now”, and these are choices that we make for various reasons at various times throughout our life. If you know why you are doing what you are doing, let that suffice.

…YOUR RELATIONSHIP CHOICES.

Single, married, divorced, or otherwise. This is your choice, as determined by you and your truest self, regardless of your relationship status, and because of that, you need not explain this status to anyone else that is not involved.

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One thought on “No Need to Explain

  1. Love this! I’ve always been a big over-explainer. I just didn’t want people to misunderstand me, especially when I’ve taken the time to think through my own explanations. But I’m realizing, my over-explaining was an attempt to control people’s responses to me. I’m learning to just speak my truth as clearly as I can, and then let people interpret it however they want. Like art.

    Like

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